A grateful heart..

[Sotto]

Hi all, thanks so much for posting. I just had a little read of some posts from my old chums - Cali, MLeigh, Bttrfly etc. I haven't been on the forum for a little while. I guess I was ready to move away a little - but something drew me back here this evening, so time for a mini update.

The R with the guy I was seeing didn't work out. We just seemed to be in different places on things and I felt he was pushing too much for us to be more than I wanted too soon. In lots of ways that recurring theme kept cropping up and I began to feel we were going around the same conversation loop with it. Anyway, on a positive note, we have remained friends and we still dance together, have the odd coffee together and one or two other bits. So that's nice. I know that may well change for either of us if we start seeing someone else. But for now, I've appreciated it. It was good to dip a toe in the dating rock pool after D and there is lots to like about this guy. It also shows me that being in a new R doesn't solve all your issues - just brings a whole lot of new issues to navigate - alongside the other nice stuff of course.

I had to regroup after we stopped seeing each other. Suddenly I had a bunch of time, having been busy for a few months with him. That was a bit tough really. A couple of my good friends had started dating and I needed to build up some new stuff for myself again. So, I have a few new things on - meditation class, happiness course - alongside the yoga, singing and dancing and I feel things are at a level that I'm happy at again.

I did go into quite a spiritual phase for a while - read a lot, catching up on some spiritual books I had wanted to read and one leads to another. I find just the reading of them very calming, apart from the wisdoms in there too. I met up with SS and his mum a couple of weeks ago. He got some poor exam results, so that was a shame and they are hearing off to the US in a month or two. He and I are fixing up another visit before he goes. He had a recent milestone birthday and I gave him a cash gift and a card, and he was really appreciative. I hear nothing of his Dad at all. As far as I know, he and OW are still together, but I am more than 4 years out now, and I don't even wonder or think about him all that much. I would never have thought that might be possible in the early days.

Anyway, to any newcomers, I would echo what the wise Cali says. It doesn't really matter what journey the MLCer takes as time goes on. If we are to move forward and thrive, we have to reach a point of accepting and letting go. It was real, it mattered, it hurt and there is life - a good life - after it too. We just need to move forwards and find it for ourselves.

My Mum is still with us - albeit frail now. She and Dad celebrated 60 years of marriage earlier in the summer. We were so pleased they reached that milestone and we had a fabulous day with them, which is a precious memory now. Anyway, lots of love and best wishes to you all. I always felt this site was a special little piece of humanity and it made such a difference to me in my hour of need. Xx