I think I will respond just "Its up to you" and leave it at that. I will wait a little longer though.
He makes this hard for me I hate it. He knows I would welcome help around the house, he knows that.Its frustrating when he does this. I just want to leave it in his hands and if he does it he does it, if he doesnt then I will figure it out as I go.
Last edited by Cadet; 09/13/1807:25 PM. Reason: combine posts
Right now your mind is going about a million miles an hour and you're going through something that I went through about a month to two months ago. I liken it to emotional whiplash. It will get better over time but you need to actively work on slowing down. Which you are. I know it's frustrating and it's slow. And the constant pain is excruciating. I know.
But you're doing good. He's temp checking you massively and you are aware of it and figuring out good solutions on our own and with the great folks here. Keep it up. If you give in and you slip, that's ok. Dust yourself off and get back up.
It gets better just a little day by day. But those little victories add up. I can proudly say that.
I don't think you should give him a reason to come over to help around other than when it involves your D. I'm pretty confident it does the opposite of what you are hoping for. Ask yourself this, do you have any expectations?
See, he doesn't like your independence. He likes you to depend on him.
I believe his anger is a good sign. It means he isn't getting his way, so of course he is gonna lash out at you. I guarantee your independence is a short at his ego.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
I got home and him and the baby were asleep on the couch. I showered and then woke him up and said I’d put her in her crib. He didn’t say 2 words to me, the baby woke up when I put her down and was screaming so I took her out and was playing with her in my bed and he literally walked out the front door and say nothing and shut the door.
I cannot believe he is being this awful to me. And I’m sure he’s going to OW house now, and he’s just justifying it all with this anger. He has no reason to be angry with me, it’s all a cop out. Makes no sense. I did nothing to deserve it this morning and nothing to deserve it now. I mowed the damn front lawn today. He’s being absolutely ridiculous and I don’t know how he doesn’t see that. He’s just grasping at straws to justify what he’s doing outside our marriage.
How do you not picture the spouse with OW? Killing me tonight bc I know that’s where he is. More hurtful than anything in the world
I don’t “KNOW”, but I absolutely think that
Last edited by Cadet; 09/13/1807:26 PM. Reason: combine posts
How do you not picture the spouse with OW? Killing me tonight bc I know that’s where he is. More hurtful than anything in the world
I don’t “KNOW”, but I absolutely think that
You have to move on and let him go. You haven't done that so you have more work to do. Some of the posters that struggle the most are the ones that insist it is impossible to get the WAS out of their head. When you make something impossible it is a cop out. Nothing is impossible.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
