Wife is not who I married...Pls Help Pt5

[LoneWlf]

Journaling

fun tidbit- today i tried on my S pants size 31 waist and they fit!! HAHAHA now i'm smaller than I was in high school!

Did my morning routine and went to they gym. A nice lady I new said she was having a birthday party at her house and invited me to come. I know she has a man and this is a very nice gesture but I will decline. Had an interview with a company that I spoke to a month back and did an online assessment with. Interview went well.
Met up for lunch with a buddy going thru same thing he has a WW and she moved out and moved back in.
Went for a 1 1/2 hour bike ride turned into 2 because of a flat tire.
Got home had dinner informed S that W is coming over. We finished up and he used the chairs again to block contact.
W came over. Now I know men a visual creatures but my W comes in with an old shirt from a place she worked at 20 years ago and this shirt has holes and is also bleached from being used to go swimming. She is also swearing her BIG jeans.I notice that she is wearing her grandmothers family ring (I was there when her sister gave it to her). Her hair just cut boyish and just nothing done. Anyhow she is not a pretty site.
She came in looked over to S saw the chairs and then started by heading downstairs. We went thru more stuff. got rid of a lot of junk. Just like before she would take stuff just because it was stuff she MAY use. I good with that because it is less things I need to go thru and throw away. We went thru cook books - I kept the ones I use. In between cleaning she asks about about job hunting. I said it is going ok - I have an offer from a start up company. She also makes some jokes here and there just keeping it light. Later on she says we need to talk about selling the house? I said "I 'm ok with selling- I need to get a job and settle in first" . She did not reply.
She then asks me how S is doing in school? - I gave her brief positive responses. Then it looks like she wants deeper explanations. To which I have no issues and this is her child so I give her details on his progress. Conversation is going well. No drama no negatives. Then she asks in detail how his baseball went so I give her in detail what she wants. Later she asks how things are going with me and S at home. I plainly stated that things are going good - over the course of this situation we have learned to communicate and listen to each other better to each other. What i wanted to say is that things work well until she shows up and then things take a turn for the worse for S. (I did not mention that).
2 hours later shes says that is all her car will take- so she proceed to head upstairs to bring things to the door. Again I make myself scarce. She finishes and yells over to S- I'm leaving bye! he doesn't flinch. She says to me we can do this again next week? I said I will check my plans . She says have a good nite- I say ok bye!

Again - simple interactions no R talks. But definitely no sparks either way. Sparks in terms of my heart going pitter patter - I miss her and no sparks meaning no friction no drama. Time to focus on me and being the best dad!