Steve you are exactly right, I know that I messed up and did the opposite of the DB principles. I guess I sound like a hypocrite. When I see a positive difference with her, and feel a "vibe" (like last night), it's very hard for me not to pursue. If I analyze my actions, I know that it's me testing the waters with her. I am aware this is counter-productive and needs to stop. I do feel like this was a good lesson for me, and if there is a next time, I feel as though I will remember this and control myself better.

On the other hand, there is one possibly positive thing. Right up until she moved out there was a lot of conflict between us and a lot of ugly things said to each other (including me saying that I was happy it was over and I feel free, relieved, etc). Even though I know last night was a screw up and shouldn't have talked about it, I feel as though I got my point across last night and the ball is in her court 100%. I feel as though she now knows where I stand and what I want. Now I truly feel like I have no need to talk about R again with her unless she brings it up, so that is a relief for me.

Whatever happens, I know that I'll be okay. I'm not at the point where I was with our last separation (where I truly didn't care or want to R anymore), but I feel calm and relaxed and not depressed. Her moving out has been a lot easier on me then I thought it would be, and it's 1000x better then when we were separated and living under the same roof. I really do want to save my marriage, but I am thankful that I don't feel desperate like I did when she was still living here.

I'll keep you guys updated and I appreciate any feedback smile Thank you!