Husband Cheated, left, trying DB 2

[kech]

I do want H and D to have a relationship. I do not want my emotions to control my decision about that, and I dont want my M status to control my decision about that.

What I would like is for H and I to decide the custody and not involve the court system. Which is how we have always said we would handle it if it got here. His work schedule is all over the place, it would make no sense for us to go through the court. If we could work together on it and be civil to one another, we could discuss a schedule at the beginning of each week based off his work schedule. She is still nursing right now and will be until she is 1. When he gets his own place, a crib, a carseat, etc, we could discuss a more permanent arrangement for the weeks maybe.

I dont know. All of it makes me extremely upset. I dont want to get divorced, I want my family together. I love my H, if he wants to sit down and discuss the dissolution next week then we will do that and we will discuss custody as well and go from there. And I will meet with an attorney asap. it makes me really anxious to think about and I feel like I am doing and did a good job DBing this morning and now im not going to be given the time to continue proving that and improving it because he wants to jump to a Divorce. I hope Steve is right when he says the ones who bring it up dont normally follow through. I just want the opportunity to improve with each interaction. Somehow I feel like I slightly gained some power back with this mornings conversation. I should not have asked him why he is being this way towards me, and thats now somthing I know for the future. But I am happy I had control of my emotions, while he seems to fly off the handlebars and then use Divorce as his way of regaining control, and I didnt give him the reaction he expected with "ok".





Is my head in the total wrong place when I start to think I should do something nice for him this evening so his anger chills out a bit, or is that the total wrong direction