H: We need to sit down and fill out dissolution of marriage
What am I missing here? It makes no sense. And now he wants to fill out the divorce paperwork next week. What a start to the day.
Have you made any appointments with lawyer for free consultation? If not, THIS SHOULD BE YOUR NUMBER ONE PRIORITY.
Please do not ignore. One of the best steps I took in my sitch was to consult with an attorney. The look on her face, now remember she was the one pushing for D, when I said I had talked to a lawyer was priceless.
Imagine this in the near future:
WH: we should talk about the dissolution of the marriage kech: I understand you feel that is important, when would you like to discuss WH: As soon as possible! I want this over with kech: I can tell that you are anxious to get things moving? What do you suggest? My lawyer said "blah blah blah".
If this is in person, he'll look like you punched him in the gut. (He doesn't think you will take that step, so this would be a huge 180 for you and he will take note. Plus he doesn't expect you to do anything that shows acceptance of it.)
If it is over text you will get a long period of silence. Followed by some very angry texts. Just stay calm and remind him that he is the one pushing for "dissolution" (who even uses that term!?!?), and that you are just preparing yourself for the worst.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Okay I will do that. I am going to contact a lawyer this week and set something up, although I am so upset by it. I didnt think we could do just a dissolution, when a child is in the picture, but I am not positive. I dont want him to bring it up again but obviously he is going to and we will discuss it next week.
(I leveled out and am in a seemingly good mood, so I'm taking full advantage of it)
I just want to point out that as painful as this sitch has been for you, you're doing many things right. Being the better person (as I'm learning more daily) is much harder. The temptation to stoop to their level is so much easier when you want immediate relief (again, speaking from experience. If you read my sitch, you will see how often I beg for relief from this pain). But I'm learning and growing daily. I'm learning about my flaws and addressing them. I'm working on becoming a better, more attractive man. A better father. A better employee. And a better lover. I'm seeing the light more and more often as I continue this journey. When I sink, I hurt. And I express my hurt here, in my car, alone at home, with my IC, anywhere I deem safe. Then I dust myself off, stand up again and continue to step forward.
My W cheating was more than just about how unhappy we both were. Her cheating may have saved my life, as f*cked up as that sounds.
But oh GOD, is life saving painful. So extremely painful.
Okay I will do that. I am going to contact a lawyer this week and set something up, although I am so upset by it. I didnt think we could do just a dissolution, when a child is in the picture, but I am not positive. I dont want him to bring it up again but obviously he is going to and we will discuss it next week. so upsetting, but I will do the best I can
List out your questions;
1) Is my state a fault of no fault state? 2) Is it equal equity? 3) Is it joint custody? 4) How does child support work? . . . . . .
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
We are a no fault state, I did look up some info last week. I will get my question list together and schedule something. so upsetting, not what I want at all. I am nervous for when we sit down to discuss it.
You said earlier You think I still have him on the hook. Could you expand on that? The way he is acting is SO angry at me.
Okay I will do that. I am going to contact a lawyer this week and set something up, although I am so upset by it. I didnt think we could do just a dissolution, when a child is in the picture, but I am not positive. I dont want him to bring it up again but obviously he is going to and we will discuss it next week. so upsetting, but I will do the best I can
List out your questions;
1) Is my state a fault of no fault state? 2) Is it equal equity? 3) Is it joint custody? 4) How does child support work? . . . . . .
Remember kech, knowledge is power! When you get information like the above, then his threats will be without merit. When a lawyer tells you "Most of the time the spouse that leaves the home gets less custody" then when he is angry and threatens to fight for full custody, you can let it roll off your back because you know he has about as much hope of getting full custody as he does hitting the mega ball jackpot.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
so upsetting, not what I want at all. I am nervous for when we sit down to discuss it.