DB / Detach- Will we ever piece it together

[Did]

Steve - Thanks for coming back. What can I say Im addictive.

W texts me this morning- so back to ignoring me again? I respond sorry I have the doll. Maybe I should have said I just see no reason to talk about anything other than D4 at this point.

Then she facetimes for me to talk to D4. Brief conversation. Im usually working from home in the mornings which she knows. In our marriage I had D4 in the morning and W would go back to sleep... cosleeping D4 nursing overnight... whole mess of other issues.

I continue to recognize more mistakes that led to downfall of M, lack of connection / intimacy. I read something about the 2-3 minutes directly after sex are the most intimate times. Obvious... but W and I used to wash up right after, using condoms after D4 was born...
I hope I get the chance to do it over again but working on those expectations... Realistically I do not expect to. W has so far to go and I dont think she agrees with me there... the M, R, family is not her priority. It is D4 and work maybe her 1-2 girlfriends in there for some social time. She is cold and walled up around me, doesnt show the soft feminine side of the girl I loved, so no room for intimacy or connection. In my mind its over, Im continuing to detach and will continue to DB.

Davide nice to hear from you.

For GAL I have gotten into playing lacrosse which Im passionate about and love. Hard on the body at times but we only live once, right? I have an alumni game next Fri, a tournament in Syracuse with a national team later in September, a tournament in Hawaii in October and may go to professional tryout / training camp in December.

I have been hired to work with a start up for a new business doing recruiting consulting for lacrosse. I have been in the working out a lot. I do therapy every 2 weeks.

I would like to connect with more men but haven't gone out much with guys. It's just not a priority for most of my friends who are engaged or starting families... just a different life stage. I have hung out a couple times with some dads of the kids I coach who are older than me and that's been enjoyable. I'd like to do it more but schedules and availability with families is tough. During lacrosse the guys are great and it's fun just to be a part of the group / team.

Plus D4 50% of the time so time is limited.