Merrick....I would not do anything for the anniversary, even a card...... I tried it w/my H and he was very nervous about the day-more than me.......but he didn't get me anything and followed up w/fact that he had tried (he's a last minute type). Anyway, I gave him something small and didn't get much in response to it.
I think in some ways it adds to the guilt and pain that they are already under and your W probably wouldn't accept it. On the other hand....she may bring it up to you later on about "how much you love her" and didn't even acknowledge it.......so could be a tough call for you.
Quote: I just can't comprehend managing the competition for attention if we're apart. Any thoughts from others would be appreciated.
For me it's like a disconnection. Unfortunately, it's something that you have to adjust to when this gets done and you know/hope that your S is taking care of them and not damaging anything you have done with them. But I'm sure some of your buds here...TripleJ and RR, could tell you more about it. But from the way it sounds...their kids can't get enough of them so that's a BIG plus. I think you would be in the same sit Merrick.
I gotta say that being the one who stayed, it is really hard for me to keep up w/housework, work, homework, etc... and then have dear old dad come over and take them out to have some "play time". I hate it. I was able to have some good bonding play time w/them this weekend coz I had an extra day and was able to let things go until H took them one day and got things done but currently it does not allow me that much time to be w/them. Luckily, my kids respect me and know that I am working hard all the time. They know the drill and can appreciate the time I do share w/them w/out the interruptions etc... It sucks for me coz I want to spend more time but there doesn't seem to be enough of me to go around. Also, there aren't enough hours in the day but I will say that sleep has become non-existent in most cases and the few hours I do get seem to keep me going. Saturday is usually my recharge day.
I think that your time w/them would be full of love and joy and fun and they would respect you for all of that coz Mom is more of a (well you know).... And you will talk w/kids like these guys do and be upfront.
It is hard to be apart from them but you can always call and talk to them. Make sure you put that in your contract so that you can talk to them each day you are not w/them so it will still keep you connected. Tootles....................
