This is likely to be my only post today. As always, I appreciate all the feedback.
I don't know if W's attitude is bullying as much as a complete inability to see any hope in our R and the desire to move on. DB Coach Laurie thinks that separation may be the only hope I have of saving the R because it may be the only thing that enables W to escape her negative focus on me. But the financial consequences of a separation are so extraordinary I have a hard time swallowing it--although W would pay any price to get out of the current sitch.
On top of this, W can't understand why I'm distrustful of what she could do if I move out and is certainly unable to see how the few minutes I spend with my kids each day means so much to me. It's hard enough to balance individual R's with each child when we're under the same roof--I just can't comprehend managing the competition for attention if we're apart. Any thoughts from others would be appreciated.
Perhaps another approach I could suggest is not a split arrangment, but one where I sleep elsewhere after the kids are asleep. In other words, I retain full access to my home, but just don't stay there at nights.
On the plus/minus side, W did try to reach out a bit more yesterday, but we fell back into our endless tunnel of why we are here as opposed to finding mutual ground on how we get out--and we each made some negative comments about each other (unknowingly) within earshot of D9.
What else? Tomorrow is our anniversary, and my inclination is to avoid any mention of the subject all day. Indeed, I'm going to a ballgame with my father so we can avoid the face-to-face painful reminder. At the same time, I'm also wondering if a simple blank card acknowledging the day and professing what will be mutual sadness, but hope for our ability to work together on an amiable solution is worthwhile.
Oh well. Time to budget for a lawyer and Laurie. Be good, y'all
