WOw thanks for that list, that is really helpful. I guess I will take your advice, ignore what he says, and continue dressing however makes me feel good.
What he fails to comprehend is that when he dropped the bomb, ILYBNILWY, I was 5 months pregnant. When I found out about OW I was 8 months pregnant, a month and a half later I was giving birth and after that I was becoming a mom, adjusting with a newborn, a new body, and trying to save my marriage, as he left 6 weeks later for the first real separation.
Since then I have lost around 50-60 pounds, baby weight, working out, eating less due to stress, and just trying to be healthy to feel like i have control of SOMETHING. So he is saying "all of a sudden" I am dressing different, well of course I am. I just had a baby and got my body back to the lowest weight ive been in a few years, of course I am dressing different. He KNEW I planned to get in the gym as soon as I had the baby, we talked about it multiple times.
I think I have always been insecure about certain parts of my body, and since having the baby I just feel very confident in myself, I feel very good about where I am body wise, and I am showing off more than I used to. Wearing tighter clothes, shorts, but also knowing I look good and exuding confidence, because every other aspect of my life feels like its falling apart.
I am not one to post much on social media, and my husband deleted his facebook account during our separation, I think he did that so women couldnt look him up and see he was married but who knows. So anyways, a few weeks ago, while he was still living here, I posted a picture on fb and made a quick comment about how 6 months post partum I am almost where I would like to be and feeling strong and that I have a cute running partner (had a pic of the baby).Many people commented and complimented me and it felt really nice to get that boost and stay motivated.
That night my H got off work and went straight into our tv room, got out all his gym equipment and did a workout. (Mind you, he is in amazing shape even when he doesnt work out), but he hadnt worked out in a while so I found it a little odd he did that. Not sure if maybe someone showed him the pic I posted, although I just dont see anyone doing that, as people arent really aware anything is going on with us. But some of his friends do so maybe that was the case. I was in work out clothes though, leggings and a t shirt, it was not a revealing post by any means and I did it as a way to keep myself motivated and hold myself accountable to stick to it. Just thinking back, it is a little funny he came in the door and did a workout and skipped the bar that night.
Regardless of things like that, what I was saying is that he says im oozing sex etc etc and I know he thinks im doing that to get his attention or other mens attention, but he isnt even THINKING oh ya, she just had a baby and has worked really hard to get where she is! He hasnt even taken a second to think about me at all in this process. Its him thinking iM doing things to make him mad or hurt his feelngs. Like he said the other day "All your changes hurt my feelings. I wish I had handled things differently".
My changes at this point arent for him, at least the physical ones. Theyre for ME. Theyre the ONLY thing that keeps my self esteem at an ok level. my other changes, DBing, yes those are for him, but in time will hopefully make me feel better.
