Day three of me being a crying, blubbering mess. Everytime I think I have reined it in, a destructive thought comes and it kicks me down and I'm the ground gasping for breath again.
Sounds like you're having panic attacks (gasping for breath). Crying is fine and healthy, but if you're having panic attacks and/ or suicidal thoughts then get to your doc ASAP. You may need to get on medication for a while to help you through the rough spots.
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But it's so difficult to detach. Does it take this long?
It takes a long time. Usually when people think they are detached they are still a good 6 months away from actually being detached.
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I've been only DBing for a hair over four months. I'm learning it takes anywhere from 6-12, maybe longer. Is that true? Approximately one month for every year we've been together (9 years) or married (7 years)?
Not sure what you're asking, it can take that long to what? If you mean recon, everyone wants a timeline which is why Michele mentioned that in her book (one month per year together) but that is just a very loose guideline. Some recons happen in less than a year, but most don't happen for a couple of years. Some even happen a decade or more later. And of course some never happen, often because the LBS no longer wants it when the WAS changes their mind. The outcome is unknown, so the goal is to get yourself to the point where you are OK REGARDLESS of the outcome.
