Ya I had a feeling he was seeing her, but proof of its certainty changes everything, because now I KNOW he is. And when he leaves here its where hes going most of the time Im sure and thats enough to make me absolutely sick.
I know I need to let go, detach, move on, let him go to get him back. Thats all I want. I would never date a man like him right now if I met him and saw him from this light. But I can only imagine what he is telling OW. As if hes just a hrd working man trying to leave his wife who is still in love with him and as if im making it hard for him to see our D or something when he knows thats absolutely not the case.
But i think sometimes he starts to believe his own BS. In doing what I did last night I would like to SHOW him I am only focused on him having a relationship with her at this time. I will do my best in that capacity but that I dont want to discuss our R. (which of course I do, but I want him to think I dont.)
Ugh. This is going to be a very long day. He should be here around 6ish and its like ive had 2 days of not seeing him and im excited to see him and sad about seeing him and heartbroken and so many things all at once. I hate this.
