First, I was very happy to hear what was happening in my friend U'Dog's sitch and needed it to offset my M's ongoing demise. But, every sitch is different, and my needs are different than hers right now.
For me, I've commenced building my detachment fortress. I just don't give a rip right now.
1) I resisted two pleas from W this weekend for me to sleep in the den. She says she is tired and can't be a good mother, but I will not allow that "good mother" crap to be used against me anymore. I just said you're free to sleep with me and I won't touch you.
2) I've also done something I never thought I would ever do--I stopped wearing my wedding ring. I've thought about wearing it on my right hand because my M is dead and may wear it while I'm at work, but I will no longer wear it around W and may even just leave it on my end table when I go out at nights. My wearing it is just a reminder to her that I'm keeping the faith. I'm STILL keeping it, but not in her face.
3) I have my legal strategy in place to respond to her lawyers first separation salvo--which should throw her and her lawyer off guard. Basically some stipulations about W's SoM and a hint of what I intend to spend on legalk fees if necessary (actually, W's lawyer may salivate! ). If W's wants this, it will not be free. (As a joke, I though about contacting OM's Dad--who is OM's boss and $$$ pipeline. I thought I would send him some of his son's notes to W--and say that since OM is willing to go through anything to be with her and make W happy, would he mind contributing $3,000 a month to our split household?) .
4) I have made absolutely no effort to do anything out of the ordinary for her. Rather than kill her with kindness, my attitude is one of complete indifference.
5) I'm scheduling a meeting with the Monsignor of my Church on annulments. For me to move forward, I need to know that I can remarry in the Church. I'll ask him if I should invite my wife--but I don't know if that would just be emotional blackmail on my part. In any event, I hope to get more spiritual cousneling on how to move forward.
It's hard to see how this will play out. On Friday night, W went out and I was watching some stuff on EWTN (Catholic TV) and fell asleep. W saw this when she got home, woke me up, pulled my glasses off my head and said my viewing habits were a f***ing joke. This morning, she tried to tell me that she was mad that I considered myself the victim in D and that her life would be miserable just as much as mine. I just said, "That's right--our lives will be miserable," and I walked away to her taunting me about my walking away."
Later in the day, she got mad at the kids for leaving a mess and started screaming at them at the top of her lungs--just as her mother was walking in! Nice scene.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not acting spitefully or looking for ways to upset. Au contraire, I still act kindly when we are forced to interact. I just simply will not initiate contact and will take care of my needs without worrying about how she will react. Oops, I'm rambling again. Have a great week everybody.
). If W's wants this, it will not be free. (As a joke, I though about contacting OM's Dad--who is OM's boss and $$$ pipeline. I thought I would send him some of his son's notes to W--and say that since OM is willing to go through anything to be with her and make W happy, would he mind contributing $3,000 a month to our split household?) 
