I’ve not posted for a while so here is an update of where we are and what is happening:
- I’m trying to detach and GAL. W is making the detach part easy due to her continued distancing, disrespect and nastiness. I now do not instigate any conversations at all. If she asks me anything I answer as succinctly as possible. I think however I am being too cold. I am finding this paradox between detaching and being warm very difficult. Especially when every interaction with W is her either sniping, criticising, being nasty or disrespecting me. I actually don’t think I care anymore. - W keeps insisting the house be sold as soon as possible, even if it means selling in its current unfinished state at a reduced cost. I will not be agreeing with this but I’ve ignored her comments so far and the fact that she had the house valued again. She wants it sold yesterday and us to be done ASAP. I am half expecting to come home one evening to see a For Sale sign outside which would be embarrassing for many reasons, not least that I would need to call the agent and tell them to take it down. - W is getting more flagrant with her actions and comments regarding her new life. When the kids were asking where she had been all weekend, she replied ‘Partying with my friends’. She is acting like a teenager. Also I overheard her again telling the kids ‘when we move and we have two houses’. I’m also pretty sure now she is actively dating / sleeping with OM or OM plural. - W tried to throw more pictures away, namely family portraits and a wedding photograph which included my recently deceased grandmother. Apparently my children asked her if they could have the pictures in their bedroom which is where they now reside but my S7 told me ‘mummy was going to throw them away daddy’. I’m glad it didn’t happen because I would have snapped at that. - We recently purchased a new family car, just after BD which was a 180 for me because historically I have managed all our financial affairs and have been extrmely cautious and not impulsive at all. This was before I even knew about DB. W has insisted this is ‘her’ car ever since although it is clearly the family vehicle. Recently W took to using the new car when she was alone, leaving the old car for the kids and I. I suggested that the new car should be used for whoever had the children and whoever was alone should have the old car. W ‘kind of understood what I was asking’ but has then since decided to ignore this and took the new car for the whole weekend on her own and left the children and I with the old car. I have not said anything yet but I will be reminding her of what we agreed and what is best for the kids and will wait for her to completely ignore my request again for her own selfish reasons. - W is a keyboard warrior I have noticed. When we are face to face she does not want to say too much to me about selling the house, rental property or splitting the business. However, when she is at work, wow, watch her go. Bombardment is an understatement. I tend to ignore these emails. But she is particularly interested in getting the money from the business very quickly. My accountant cannot believe how much she is hassling him. - The separation is in full swing now with W setting herself up with her own room now. I managed to hold onto the master bedroom. She then told me she would not be cooking meals for me now, which I expected so in turn I am no longer doing her laundry. It seems incredibly petty seeing as we are in the same house, but so be it. I’m a better cook that her anyway. - Had a great weekend with the kids. Took them to see family, the park, the school fete to see their friends. W used to make them pancakes for breakfast st the weekend while I tended the garden. So I decided to make them pancakes even though I’d never done it before. Kids loved them, said they are nicer than mummy’s ones and err very impressed that I could flip them in the pan as mummy cannot do that. Ha - Have booked up several house viewings this coming weekend in case I cannot afford to buy W out of the house. Will be good to look and feel what my new life will be like. Keeping all my options open right now. - W is going to visit her auntie this coming weekend. This is interesting for a couple of reasons. She has never visited this auntie before in the 12 years we have been together. Secondly this auntie had a mental breakdown / depression a few years ago and left her husband, was going to divorce him, blaming all her unhappiness on him etc. She got medical help and they R and got the family back together. W family think she is going through a similar thing and are very worried about her. I believe this visit will be centred around the auntie talking with W and explaining her situation and how she felt etc. I cannot see this doing any good and am planning accordingly. Carrying on with my own plan and my new life. - Attended my grandmothers funeral alone yesterday but wore my ring to try to stop too many awkward questions. It worked mostly but a few more extended family now know the situation. My close family now hate W which is what Wcwants I think judging by the fact that she has deliberately alienated herself from all my relatives. I, on the other hand, have been polite and courteous to W family at all times and have no problem seeing or speaking with them.
Any insight or advice on any of the above welcome as always!
