I think i can speak for everyone when i say you have our support. Do what is best for you, and it seems you know where the real truth is.
It almost seems like you took the words out of my mouth about my situation. My W is a self admitted narcassist. I dont think she can ever truly love me or be faithful, and once her happiness well is dried up she will eventually move on to someone else.
So i get what your saying, sometimes you gotta chalk up your losses and move on. I hope to hear some ppsitive updates about what your doing in the future!
Together:20 years M:3 years Me:40 WW:40 S15 A suspected:5/17 AC:5/18 BD:8/18 WW in full blown R w/ OM Still under same roof
Thanks Eq, I by no means chalk this up to a loss. It's her loss. Her own kids are turning on her being gone weekend after weekend and having minimal time to spend with them in the evenings after work. Fortunately they are old enough to understand the sitch and support me 100%. It will be her burden to decide if she is going to continue her charade and continue to damage her relationship with her kids. Doesn't affect me anymore.
Like I said before most of the stories I read here and the support i received helped open my eyes about what really makes me happy. R would be short lived and continue the cycle. You have to get yourself together and live everyday like its your last or close to it. Trying to a hammer at a steel wall will only continue the pain.
That's why I thing D'bing works. There are those that will realize that they are losing a life partner and come back and others who will realize they will truly never be happy until they move on.
H-50 W-48 T-19 M -18 S23, S14 BD - 5/9/2018 OM discovered 5/10/2018
In house sep - 8/18/2018 Rope drop 2/15/2019 R'ing since 3/15/2019
Now stuck with a dliemma. W is off the charts nuts still and plan was to engage this weekend with PIs and hopefully file for D next week. Enter bad news and I think I know the moral thing to do. She finds out her sister who basically raised her and lives across the country has had some medical issues one being a malignant tumor in her head...still requires further tests but my W is beside herself upset. When she came home she told both kids but not me, my youngest came to my room to tell me and I did not approach her until the AM where I told her I heard and was sorry and could help her with anything she needed if she was considering traveling there. I feel like that was the right thing to do but I think my decision is still right to move forward legally when she did not even attempt to reach out to me. If she passes my W will probably end up institutionalized or permanently damaged someway.
If she goes away I am still moving forward with investigation but I just don't know what to do about filing for D right now...almost seems inhumane.
H-50 W-48 T-19 M -18 S23, S14 BD - 5/9/2018 OM discovered 5/10/2018
In house sep - 8/18/2018 Rope drop 2/15/2019 R'ing since 3/15/2019
Then do it. Don't wait for a "convenient" time, there will never be one. If she was filing do you think she'd care what else you might be dealing with? Her S's battle could take a long time. So if you want a D then rip the bandaid off.
Last edited by Steve85; 09/12/1812:40 PM.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
I agree and just had that discussion with a friend. There will always be something and I am in a place where I am anxious to start my new journey. Thanks
H-50 W-48 T-19 M -18 S23, S14 BD - 5/9/2018 OM discovered 5/10/2018
In house sep - 8/18/2018 Rope drop 2/15/2019 R'ing since 3/15/2019
Then just like that the drink turned into her saying she doesn't want this to end. I didn't even talk about what she would have to do immediately or what I wanted...h e l l, now she made me think that i don't know again.
And I felt like the success story. She is going away again this weekend already admitted it. What now? Hold off, continue d'bing?
H-50 W-48 T-19 M -18 S23, S14 BD - 5/9/2018 OM discovered 5/10/2018
In house sep - 8/18/2018 Rope drop 2/15/2019 R'ing since 3/15/2019
You want D, now you don't? Just because she "SAYS" something. Believe nothing she says! She is likely trying to buy more time.
lost8 now I am really concerned that you really didn't want D when you said you did. As I've counseled other posters on, you have to be HONEST with yourself.
On the hold off and DB question, the answer again lies in a simple question: DO YOU WANT TO DIVORCE.
If yes, then go file.
If no, then yes hold off and DB.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
