Originally Posted by ] Alimony is granted only if it's in the divorce decree. If she takes pride in being independent (i.e. not a "leach"), then that works in your favor. If you can both agree on terms, then there's no need to even get an attorney involved. I did not seek alimony in my divorce even though I probably could have pushed for it due to my ex-wife's income being much higher than mine. The judge even double-checked with me and made me aware that if I refuse alimony, then I waive the right to request alimony indefinitely. It was never my intent to "screw over" my ex-wife and I don't want any money from her. I do just fine financially on my own. So I declined.
I cannot say for sure whether or not she is content with the situation. If I were to guess, I'd say deep down it is causing her a lot of stress. She probably wonders how long she can continue this double life of pretending to be your wife while satisfying her need for emotional (and possibly physical) intimacy with another man.[/quote
She said she doesn't look to screw me should we get a divorce. But I know with her part time job, there is no way she can sustain herself and the kids on her income alone. There's no doubt I'd have to chip in as far as alimony goes.
[quote=mindsin] I don't think you're doing your kids any favors by staying in a miserable marriage. Your daughter will learn how a man is supposed to treat his wife by how dad behaves towards mom. Is your current dynamic with your wife the example you want to set? Think about it.
Even though my kids went through a divorce, they now spend time in two households where the adult couples are in a healthy loving relationship. They show zero negative psychological effects of being in a split family and are very outgoing and happy whenever I see them. I don't know, maybe I just got lucky with how things turned out. But when mom & dad are happy, the kids are happy -- even though mom and dad are with other people.
You keep on forgetting that we are trying to get out of this town and to a more expensive one for its school system. She has already declared that if we get a divorce she isn't going anywhere because there's no way she can afford anything in that new town. That we either move together for the time being and for the kids' sake, or we go our seperate ways now, but she gets to stay in our current town - something I am absolutely against. I need the kids to go to a better school system.
As far as the kids suferring from all of this. They're not, certainly not the twins. We don't really argue on a regular basis, and if there one, we make sure it is not done around the kids. The kids only see the 'good' stuff behind us. It's not easy, but we try - for their sake.
M (LBS): 41, W (WAS) : 40 M: 16Y, T: 22Y Kids: 11, 9, 9 A: since 2015 DB: since July 2017
