Nothing in my sitch changed. Just the awful things W has done and continues to do to me. I wish I can believe her that there is no emotional or physical A with OM but I can't. I knew I shouldn't have snooped.
Day three of me being a crying, blubbering mess. Everytime I think I have reined it in, a destructive thought comes and it kicks me down and I'm the ground gasping for breath again.
I learned my lessons...and I'm finding out (very painfully) what not to do once I get my second chance.
I know I'm doing the right things. I feel like I'm growing. But every little bit I grow is brutal. I keep wanting to cry "Stop! Stop it now!" and I can't. I keep getting positive feedback. But it's so difficult to detach. Does it take this long?
I've been only DBing for a hair over four months. I'm learning it takes anywhere from 6-12, maybe longer. Is that true? Approximately one month for every year we've been together (9 years) or married (7 years)?
Is she teasing me? Is she slowly coming around? Is she gaming with me? I want answers that I can't have. And that's what makes this all the worse.
