Navigating through and concentrating on myself #6

[Dtrmned]

I appreciate the words AS.
I believe many others would disagree with your assessment.
We will see this week if I get the mediator's name and number and she pushes forward.
There is no mind reading any longer. She is angry today. At what I don't know.
Us getting a D, her getting her own place, being a single parent half the time, losing time with our kids the other half, having to get a full time job and doing it all by herself is, IMHO, next to impossible.
If she cashes out all of her assets, I think she would have about a year before it crashes in. This doesn't count any type of income she might get, but I don't think that would be sustainable. Her options seem to be:
1) Refocus on our MR, choose to be happy and keep our family together
2) Try it on her own. This will mean a HUGE drop in standard of living and a giant increase in responsibility. She is a strong willed person but with the health issues on top, I don't see this being successful.
3) She will have to jump into a new relationship rather quickly just to keep a decent standard of living and the ability to not work and just have some help from a companion and of course the finances. Looking at this option, I know she is a beautiful woman, she is engaging and fun (when she can be). Knowing the health situation along with the emotional/mental issues she has to deal with, wouldn't this just seem like "trading spouses" for lack of a better term? I don't see this one working either as truly what does she have to bring to a new relationship? Sex? Sure, for the first few weeks or months, then a health issue comes around or the chronic pain heats up and then its done. Money? She has very little. Fun? She could go out a few times, but she can't drink much with her medications, she can't drive at night, she can't stay out late, and even on lunch dates she gets tired very quickly. Even getting ready for a date (and this was a few years ago so way prior to BD) sometimes she just getting ready would wear her out and she couldn't go due to exhaustion. Companionship? If you don't have time, energy or desire to put into a relationship, how long would it really last? I haven't been single in a LONG time, but I think that any partner would want someone who would want to participate in their life to make something work and have a future.

Tough to concentrate today for some reason. Reflecting on the dinner I had with the kids last night. it was good, effortless and fun. Happy for that. Sad my W didn't go. I don't know if she didn't go because of health or MR issues. I just asked if she wanted to go and she declined.