I forgot to mention something important. After she agreed to quit talking to OM, she said she doesn't consider us separated anymore. She also stated that no matter how this turns out, I will fare better than her. Her life will be crap and mine glorious and happy.
It's very clear that I need to grab this situation by the reins and begin the moving on process. Detach. I can detach while giving my son the attention and continuity he deserves. From 6-9 I will be 100% present even if all three of us are together. I will begin slowly taking S out on my own maybe an hour at first and see how that goes. W is in very bad emotional state and I don't want to take the only thing that gives her light away too much. But I do want her to start seeing what life after D may look like. Before 6 and after 9 I will be fully detached other than some behind the scenes fatherly stuff such as laundry, packing lunches, etc.
I'm fully prepared if she starts talking to OM again. I'm also fully prepared for any other hidden secrets that may come to light. I've learned a great deal about myself through this and I can handle anything that's thrown my way. This 180 and gal does make me nervous, but I've learned through this ordeal that the negative emotions are temporary and I will feel better about things. The most important aspect of this is our S and his future. I want to work things out with W and I want our family to stay together. What I've been doing isn't going to accomplish eaither. Next step is 180, detach, and gal.
Please keep commenting if you have anything to say. Just having this board has given me some strength.
