Your current attitude to stick with your kids and the household you helped create is encouraging for me too. Any encouragement I can offer to not let W's craziness force you out of your family is a BB post away.
It's HER problem, don't let her make you the scapegoat for her problems. What affect will your leaving have on your kids? - Forget what affect you staying has on W and her R with kids, that's W's problem she's blind to your efforts to help her.
