I guess I just say I see no reason to hug... or dont respond at all. Since that isnt what I want to say but do what works right not what you want? I'll read some on here and think of how to respond rather than just reacting which is always a mistake for me.
Just remember detachment is not being cold and indifferent. I think you're kind of on that cusp of appearing cold and indifferent to her. At the same time you can't "nice" her back, so you've got to walk a fine line between pursuing and not being rude. This is where Sandi's rules come in. Read them to remind yourself what your behavior goals are. As far as the hug, I personally always suggest that if the WAS asks for a hug then give them the sidearm hug. That's giving them the hug they're asking for without it being too intimate or pursuing. It's also sending them a message that you're not necessarily romantically available to them anymore.
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I want to say: a week ago you said Ive been thinking about you a lot and feeling things I havent felt in a long time. Then after I try to talk through things and spend time together you ask for space. I see this is all pursuit and pressure so I wont say it but its pretty frustrating.
I'm glad you didn't say it because you're right, it's inappropriate right now.
Also I agree with LITB, you've got to cut WAY back on the time you're spending with her. No more lunches and such. Maybe later, but for now she is never going to miss you at this rate, and you want her to miss you and feel like she may lose you. Again not cold and indifferent, just busy and unavailable. Right? If you're too busy to have lunch with her because you are living an awesome life then she'll want to be a part of that.
And she's on a dating app? GOOD!!! Let her see how many idiots and a-holes are out there. There's nothing like a dating app to remind a woman how hard it is to find a good man (much less a great one). If you ever want an earful just ask a woman how her online dating experiences have gone. When I started dating I would ask women that as an icebreaker and holy cow, talk about entertaining!
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When she texts just ignore her? Or minimal response.
Sometimes reply right away, sometimes an hour later, sometimes not at all. Again, the idea is you are busy being awesome and may or may not have time for her texts.
