It's ok to pretend and act sometimes it gets us through to a point where if you do it long enough you start to feel it. I'm not a professional Matrix I'm just sharing what's working for me. It's not perfect yesterday I fell back into some of my old ways in the morning and it triggered my wife and she was super mad all day and looking for a fight. Even though she was yelling at me I help my temper and listened and in the afternoon I cornered her before she left for work and asked her what's the problem. She was mad but she told me. Ok good now I know what I need to do.
It's sounds like she's adamant about having her cake and at the slightest indication of you GAL and 180 she immediately tries to pull you back in. My advice to you is try calling her less. Don't be constantly calling and asking how she is. If she calls be polite and friendly but keep the chat to a minimum especially if she's trying to pull you back in. If its about the kids it's ok be to the point and end the conversation first. "Hey I need to go I need to take this call" or "hey I'm tied up right now I have to go". Ignore some of her calls and hit ignore and send her to voice mail. Give time before calling back even an hour or two "hey I saw you called what's up" and if she's calling to manipulate you just say "sorry super busy here I need to run I will talk to you later". Keep pulling back. Free yourself. Focus on yourself focus on your kids. You are a good guy you deserve the best in your life. Detach yourself emotionally it will take time but it's liberating and she will sense it in you and may panic. Rid yourself of your fears. You can't force change in her she needs to change and this has gone on far too long. When you hit that point where you have accepted your situation and realized you are powerless to change it unless you change yourself you will feel free. Have a great day.
