Steve W has not once made ANY effort to even speak about WHY she left so NO WAY if she D's me will she ever even think of wanting to R. given how she has acted I have no intention of doing any holiday, birthday, anything with her ever again if she files. truth is I believe for her to have gotten to this point there HAD to be an OM. if it was a PA, even if not, that means now in her "chronology" I'm old news/dead feelings. i don't know how I could get past that and thankfully as it seems she has ZERO feelings for me, I can compartmentalize and not have to think about that what if.
so many articles I read reinforce my belief that it was all me, I let her down and caused her to leave. i heard her every single time when she said she was unhappy, but how did I know without her telling me how to help make that better for her. as we say here we aren't responsible for someone else's happiness, then even if she was unhappy it wasn't my job to fix that for her. i just wasn't a good enough husband for her. didn't listen, didn't appreciate, wsan't intimate, you can throw the book at me and I'm sure many, many other men on here for all the same things, but I loved her, she meant the world to me and if I had known what she needed AND more importantly had she been open to providing me what I needed and WANTED to truly be happy, we could have saved us.
i'm sorry steve, as I've said before I'm just in a dark place. truth is I NEVER HAD A SINGLE CHANCE before I wrote my first word here. whatever horrible ways I failed her led to the end of our MR and the destruction of our family, I just wish I had been all the things she needed her husband to be. i'll go to my grave thinking this, the greatest sadness of my life, was all my fault and her silence will confirm that so.
