Hello all, I am looking for some advice. I've been reading the forums for almost a month but now just registered. My wife moved out 8 days ago after a 2 month live in separation (which I feel as though I screwed up by being too needy, arguing, etc.) Four days before she moved out, we spent the day together (breakfast, mall, etc) and I told her that I wanted to work things out. She said that right now, she did not want to be with me. I got needy (big mistake, I know) and asked her if there was a possibility in the future, and she said that she couldn't answer either way and she needed time. Since she moved out, I have not reached out to her at all. She called me two days later regarding a bill of mine that came out of her account ($100) and wanted me to bring her the money. I told her I was busy and that she would have to come by the house. She then said she didn't want to see me or see the house and started arguing, I ended the convo and she continued arguing via text, which I ignored (I shut my phone off and she thought I blocked her). Two days after that she texted me from stepson's phone saying not to block her again and that she really needed the money and if I could meet up with her later, which I agreed to (in all fairness I owed her the money). I also told her on the phone that if she is communicating respectfully that I would answer, but if she communicates to argue then I won't, and she said she understood. So we met up at starbucks and had a quick convo regarding the dog and a few other things, nothing related to us or R. I was upbeat and felt great during the convo, and she was serious/depressed looking. Since then, she has called/texted to ask me random things (regarding a job, an insurance quote, things like that). Yesterday I responded to her text from the night before, and after a few texts she made an argumentative comment, and I stopped responding. Today she called, I didn't answer, then after an hour sent a text saying "you called?" She asked if I wanted the dog back today or tomorrow, I said tomorrow and that was it.
I only respond via text and very short, to the point answers. We both need time to think and miss each other. I am working on GAL which is something I didn't have in our marriage. I really, truly want my family back and I am working on the issues that drove her away (mainly insecurities on my part). Being alone is helping me find myself and improve my self esteem. I don't feel desperate to get her back, I just feel as though I can make these changes and make our marriage and family work.
So, that is my current sitch and my question is this: How am I doing? Should I stop responding at all and go dark? I really want her to miss me to somehow spark her feelings towards me again. We separated a few years ago (for 3 months) and when I really truly stopped caring and stopped wanting to R, she came back and sparked my feelings and we worked it out. Just not sure how to proceed or how to test the waters to see what she is really feeling. Thank you for such a great community!
