Need Guidance moving from new comer to MLC,

[DnJ]

Hello marina7 - Glad to hear kids are starting taekwondo next week. I am sure they will have a lot of fun with it. Are all three taking lessons? Is it just you taking them?

But I also know believe 50% what they say and do. But I also stayed away because I don't want drama. I can't imagine what W has told family but I know W mask is coming off as S10 says he hasn't been
to any family house just OW family.

Good for you. Don’t believe anything they say, and only 50% of what they do.

Interesting what S10 said and how things W say won’t add up. My W for months was telling people how she sees her children often and has very good relationship with them. Sadly I think that is her truth, her version. At that point she has only saw them around five times in four months, it has got worse, currently she has not reach out since S17’s graduation - 10 weeks.

Couple weeks later W said stop calling my family they don't want nothing with you or kids.

I know the truth will come out but I also know that's their daughter and I don't expect them to take my side. Or even hear it.

Try not to worry about what W is telling family and others. I know how hard that is. W has her version of the truth, just let go and let her have it. You’re right, the truth will come out eventually.

I know you see the whole blood is thicker than water thing. However, I wouldn’t necessarily take W at face value about her family not wanting to see you or the children. Unless they tell you directly, I would disregard your W’s warning. Invite Grandma and Grandpa for a meal for something, see what happens. Her uncle misses you guys, probably others do as well.

I am with Gordie, best wishes with therapy. You are so correct, you need to detach and get away from the insanity.

...I know one day I will need someone who will not walk away when times get tough...

You have someone, she looks at you from the mirror. That person you need.

You want someone who will not walk away when times get tough, you do not need them. A person in your life could be removed from it in a moment, without notice. We have already experienced that. Ensure you are clear with need vs want in your mind.

I needed W so bad at first. It took a while to realize I didn’t need her, that “need” was driven by fear. Letting go of fear and need became wanting her around. Indifference keeps the wanting of her in abeyance.

Keep walking your path. You’re really doing really well.

DnJ