It was hard for me to rationalize that such a good person could do this. It was hard because i needed to villify my own ex for doing the same thing to me. It was easier for me to let go of my ex by writing him off as a selfiah narcissit. But i swear to you' this woman was not in any way a selfish narcissit. Yet she was doing this. She was depressed and upset and stressed. She was not the charming type that knew how to appeal to the public or work on keeping up image and appeatances. . To be honest. I think she was insecure because of her health issue and history of weight problems.
I don't know if I ever told the story to you, but my ex husband was my friend's boyfriend. I was the OW. I was 18. People who know me, know that it is not who I am. I, of course, felt guilt beyond guilt, even to this day. Me and that friend are actually close friends to this day, 20 plus year friendship. I was in the worst place in my life at the time. I actually wished I was dead. My mother went off the rails, back on drugs, my dad, my rock, was living with his AP, I had no home of my own, and everyone abandoned me. When he paid attention to me, I latched on like a literal life preserver. Just about the most unhealthy dynamic in the world, and heck, look where it got me. To this day, I deal with it in therapy. My friend forgave me, because she knows it's not who I am. She knew my life at the time.. I do believe good people make bad mistakes.
All that being said, I understand where you are coming from and your stance. My best friend, my biggest support in my life, one of the people I love the most wasn't faithful. My cousin is also not faithful. The internal battle is real. When I realized my dad was cheating on my mom with his now wife of 16 years, I lived in denial of it. I love my dad and he was always a great dad. Separating the relationships from the cheating is really really hard. In the end, you need to do what is right for you. What you are comfortable with. I am sorry this is happening,, because I know pool is your happy place, is a loss of a partner in something you do that makes you feel good.
