I know the feeling - it's horrible. Nothing anybody can say makes it go away either. Just find your inner strength.
Truthbuster.
Married 4.5, Together 6 M: 36, W: 33, no kids Separation date: 7/8/2017 Bomb dropped: 8/18/2017 Last communication: 1/8/2018 - now nothing OM confirmed - now ended (?)
Also saw something in Did’s sitch that worries me. DB coach tells me to foster a friendship and treat her like a sibling. He said LBS of a WAW would default to attempting an R since they don’t want to be “friend-zoned”. So the better option would be to make conversations and meetings friendly.
On the other hand, being friendly is not the way to go. I’m slowly trying to nudge things but I’m afraid that if I treat her like a friend...that it will be the beginning of the end of M and we can ever be is friends.
Damnit. I was feeling so good until yesterday. This feels like a setup to a huge setback. What/how should I proceed? Continue to stay as dark as I can? Let W warm up on her own? I want to tell her but I know it’s too early. It’s way too early and I don’t want to undo the good progress I made.
My emotions are trying to take over my logic. It’s mounting something furious. I know I can’t let it take over, but its getting hard.
And now W is going to be to teaching her class late because her concert "got out late". So she asked me to run the class instead of co-teaching (I volunteered to teach Sunday classes this school year).
I want to ask her "Are you using me for your getting your own needs fulfilled? Was this the point of me volunteering all along so that you can continue your "casual dating BS" with OM???"
You're good Pain. I'm also a little confused about the 'friend zone' thing. I guess it all depends on what type of relationship you/we had with our W's prior to BD? I mean, if the relationship was very close, talkative, etc, then the need to build a 'friendship' probably isn't as great as it is when the 'connection' wasn't there for a while?
Married: 15yrs Ages: Me 49, W 44 Kids: S12 BD: around 4/14
You're good Pain. I'm also a little confused about the 'friend zone' thing. I guess it all depends on what type of relationship you/we had with our W's prior to BD? I mean, if the relationship was very close, talkative, etc, then the need to build a 'friendship' probably isn't as great as it is when the 'connection' wasn't there for a while?
Thank you. I'm happy that what I'm feeling is normal.
We had a close relationship. Lots of hugging, cuddling, kissing. Very little sex (my fault). Not very talkative and at times I was scared/angry to talk to her (NGS symptom). I want to build something with her, but I don't/can't want to live my life in limbo. The connection was really frayed towards BD but we still communicated/talked.
See my sitch didn't have much meaningful communication, and next to no physical intimacy. Do you think the DB coach meant to rebuild the friendship foundation, and then mix in a little physical stuff (flirting, touching, etc), which would help avoid friend zone?
Married: 15yrs Ages: Me 49, W 44 Kids: S12 BD: around 4/14
