Also, going dark is not an option for me. My wife is an extrovert. I'm an introvert. She claims that one of my minuses is that we never talk. I've always been a man of few words, whereas she's a person who loves to talk. If I go dark on her, she takes it as if something is wrong. Regardless of the facade I put up on my face. The moment I start ignoring her verbally, she senses something is wrong, that I don't want to talk to her, and that just pisses her off even more.
One of the rules was to be a man of few words. Let her do the talking. In my case however, that won't work. If I want to fix my marriage, I need to show not only happiness and content, but also the ability to converse with her.
Matrix I disagree somewhat on what you said here. I am an introvert as well and my wife is an extrovert. When I stopped pursuing and worked on GAL and I mean truly worked on it something changed inside of me. It was only when I accepted that my marriage had failed and my wife wanted a divorce that I was able to set things into motion. She was and could still be having an EA I confronted her, told her I knew and told her I have nothing more.to say on it and went on my merry way. I detached myself emotionally, I stopped snooping because let's face it what does it matter? You already know? Why keep torturing yourself? Why keep confronting? From what I read it's obvious. Now when I said I pulled back it doesn't mean I was rude or hateful or gave her any reason to ask me what's wrong, although she does from time to time, I just say "nothing" and smile and carry on. I was still respectful I still communicated but I gave her space I didn't bring things up that would create conflict. And it helped a lot she started bringing things up. I listened. I didn't turn around and start dumping. I didn't ask questions that were prying I just let things flow. And it's working for me this far. So please for your sake accept your relationship as it was is finished. You need a new relationship. You need to get to the bottom of why she's not attracted to you and change. No woman is attracted to a man who has lost confidence. Going that long without intimacy is absolutely not ok. I know its not easy but concede and accept what's happening and let her go and do it for your sake. What happens when you actually do might surprise you.
