We had a week off work together with the kids. He chose days out - we all had a good time. It felt relaxed and natural. Then this week back to school, routine and work. On Thursday he messaged me to say he was going to his friend’s house to catch up - he hadn’t seen him for a while and he didn’t come home. He came home after work Friday and we went to an exercise class (as we have the last 12 weeks with our eldest daughter). We came home and he got us all a takeaway. Then suddenly announced at 10.30pm he was going to his friends house to climb a mountain. I’m afraid I lost it and became upset (for the kids) and said I didn’t want this anymore. He couldn’t look me in the eye.
I then sent him a message telling him how I feel and that we need to sit and discuss a practical way forwards as sharing a house isn’t working. I told him I will not be doing his washing. He messaged me saying his feelings haven’t changed since bomb drop and he needed to get away and climb a mountain. He sent the eldest children a message saying he was sad, couldn’t play happy families and they can call him any time, that he would stay safe and climb a mountain.
He hasn’t come home. Yet.
He has spent loads of money - a family tent and a brand new bike for himself now leaving him with no more money for the month. He did this before bomb drop and he had stopped doing impulsive spends.
The children said today that last week whilst they were alone with him he talked about getting a flat in a nearby city. He has again denied that there was anyone else.
So what now? I’ve kept busy with the kids today. I feel sad for them the most rather than me. I know I need to detach - do I now keep communication business like? Getting upset with him was a bad move - but that’s done now.
M: 17 T:17 Me:42 H:48 BD 23/12/2017 H says ‘I don’t want to be married’ D 17 D 15, D 13, S 10, S 10
