I think that you did the right thing WRT S9. Children need boundaries in order to feel safe and cared for. By not raising your voice and calmly taking a stand you showed that your the adult and that you care enough about him to take the time to actual follow through. He migth be cross with you for a few days, but i think that it will actually help as you are showing him a father that he can respect and giving him an example of adult behaviour.
I also think that a break might be a good thing for you. It is so very draining having to live this drama day in and day out. I like the idea of a retreat, i finding them to be very refreshing and a great way to recenter myself.
It may well be worth giving you W a taste of what being a single mother would be like, it would be ok, i think, if you had to go on say a business/work related trip for say 2 - 4 weeks. Then you could apply the LRT (of sorts) and she would have the time to see if her 'problems' go away when your not there!
Your sitch is certainly difficult and i think that you have great courage for putting up with what you do.
