The funny thing is when he explained his perspective to me. It was all script. Her husband was a bad guy, she had already made the decision to end the marriage, they knew what they wanted and weren't going to wait for a document from the courts to make the divorce official. This almost sounds like a couple moving in together before marriage, after all, it's just a piece of paper, right?
The problem with that is that my friend doesn't understand the role he plays in taking her words (that she's done with the marriage) at face value, when in reality she's in pain and confused. If the entire world unanimously told her "You shouldn't do this, stay with your man, make it work, I don't want anything to do with you if you walk away from your vows" then maybe she'd rethink her decision. But when there are a line of men saying "Hey honey, was he a bad guy, well, c'mon over here, the grass is greener, I can show you..." then it just makes it easier for her to follow this path. It's almost like giving drugs to people in rehab. It's ultimately their choice to use, but they're in a vulnerable spot and making it available to them is going to sabotage progress that they might be able to make if they had a clean environment for a few weeks or months.
So again, I can't help the fact that most people will shrug their shoulders and not object. After all, I am more passionate about this topic than most and am closer to him than most and I could barely muster the gumption to do this. But at least for my own sake I did. I felt like I was a third party voter; it felt like throwing away my vote, but it was my only choice.
I have some other thoughts on this but I'm so wiped out and down right now I just have to call it a day. Thanks for being there for me guys.
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
