DB session complete. Nothing groundbreaking, but he did suggest that I kind of start nudging into cultivating the friendship I am having with W. I am to have NO CONVERSATION REGARDING R (duh). There is no momentum built up yet. I need to continue to build the foundation.
Keep up the positive mental attitude (will provide my feelings shortly) and focus on the friendship. I was told that the BS from the WAS does not want to be friends (fear of friendzone, needs to be at lover/soulmates zone), so continuing to build a friendship is key. Keep it light, easy, and playful.
GAL is key. If I continue to take care of myself, it continues to build resilience for the challenges ahead.
One of the challenges is to have ask for a friendly meeting. Nothing about dates, none of that. Just a friendly sit-down and chat (kind of what we did two days ago). Follow-up challenge is to how to react if she says "No". If I can't handle her saying "No" then I can't ask. Not until I'm ready.
More reinforcement of being her friend. Avoid pursuit. Avoid laying it on thick in regards to romance.
Go at a steady pace. MARATHON NOT SPRINT. Pace is very important.
Time will tell if W is responding to the changes and she becomes increasingly warm to me.
Expecting R vs. Longing for an R. Explained that it's ok for me to long for an R. Look forward to the day she is beginning to show remorse.
Ask her a friend how the concert was, show interest, concern, care, but DO NOT PURSUE OR CHASE.
Again reinforcing building a good foundation.
Brought up the fact that during our talk two days ago she had to "detangle" from her unhealthy friendship with her friend and she's going to attempt to R with her friend. DB coach told me to use that as a parallel for my sitch.
Find opportunities to spend with her. Family time is great. I may ask her for dinner with D4 tonight. Maybe.
Follow up in two weeks.
As far as my feelings go, the nightmare effects will not go away. I'm pretty bummed out and feeling slightly hopeless. W is spending night at OM's place again. I'm trying not to let it bother me, but obviously it is. I keep thinking of the stuff W said previously and how before our S what she said was mostly true. But I also know to not believe anything she says and 50% of what she does. So I'm conflicted.
Stepping back, this is only month 1 or month 4 of DB. Normally things occur from month 5/6/7. So I have a way to go.
Even though I'm happy at the progress I made, the feelings i'm feeling now remind me that I'm still in this painful sitch and there is no end yet in sight.
