AS, I appreciate your kind words my friend. I have a lot of admiration for you and the asset that you are to the members of these forums.
You are absolutely spot on about the girl that I dated. I regret breaking her heart even if it wasn’t my intention and it was instrumental in my W’s 180(Epiphany). I suppose that it is sometimes better to be lucky, than good. I do know that the ex-GF did go on to get married, so I am happy for her in that respect.
Did,
Please know, I made a lot of mistakes during my first separation. I wouldn’t suggest following most of the things that I did at the beginning. Heck, I only tried to reading back on my sitch once and I didn’t get very far. It was frustrating to see the mistakes that I had made. Stupid emotions cloud reality.
Anyway……the change in your sitch begins with you, BUT that shouldn’t be the reason you work on self-improvement. Sure, use it as motivation if it helps. Ultimately, you should work on self-improvement, because you chose to have a better life, whether you and your W recon or not.
To me, a successful DB’r is someone who has embraced the process and put in the effort to self-improve. You won’t regret it.
When we arrive at this “marital trauma center” on “marital life support”, we are seeking to save our marriage. What we discover, is that we have to save ourselves first. Listen to the flight attendant, and put your oxygen on first. Otherwise, it will be hopeless.
That being said, what do you find attractive to you in a partner? I’ll give you a few to start: Confidence Humble Communicative Considerate Selfless
I suggest once you have this list, become that person. Perhaps you can share with us what is different about you today, than when you first arrived here.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
