Navigating through and concentrating on myself #6

[Dtrmned]

I honestly don't know.

I, of course, based on past history and Sandi's rules I can't believe anything she says.
It just baffles me that she is in such a state of nothingness.
She did bait me a few times and I didn't take it (i.e. when she was mentioning her being the primary caregiver she said that my D doesn't even remember me much since I was gone traveling a lot. I had one company that I traveled for that I owned for 4 years. My travel was out Monday and in Thursday about every 3 weeks or so. The other times I was home working out of the house. I took my D to preschool every morning and picked her up most afternoons. We rocked out to hair metal and had a ball. If you add that all up, thats about 260ish days I missed while she was 18 mos to 6 years old. During that time we had great vacations, holidays, etc.

She did say she was going to email me the mediator so I could look up their reviews, information and costs. I still haven't received that yet.

I did not tell her I retained an A and don't think I will just yet. That is for my own piece of mind. She did try to drag it into a MR/Settlement talk and I just mentioned a few things and told her that most of it, to me, was fairly black and white. There is very little gray in it to me. What's right is right. She did profoundly state that she does not want to go the lawyer route (apparently as she was doing her research and her previous experience, she understands the cost and the dragging time involved. Also, I don't know if she is going to get the help she had before from her parents as they may have lost interest due to the length she has dragged this on and the waste of money on the previous filing and withdrawal. I don't know, but I just get a feeling on this. If she had the funding, she would be full speed).

So Steve, I am still in limbo. I have said this many, many times on Friday and even though I hate limbo, I am thankful for another week having my family in the same home. Reading through your and other situations, I know it gets darkest before the dawn and you never know what may strike a cord in my W that may change her course, if there is a cord that can do that. I am not going to push for D, but I am going to get the information and see what it would look like based on my A's suggestions and my input. I will begin to plan to live within what the A is thinking regarding child support, etc. built into my budget. I will also start looking for ideas on new places to live. It will definitely be smaller than what we live in now, but it will be big enough that if my W decides to come along and work on our MR and we work through our conditions on working on that, then that would acceptable.

Bunches of stuff this weekend. Weather is beautiful so looking forward to relaxing and hopefully not thinking about this for a couple of days.

Thanks ALL of you for your continued support. I know sometimes I sound like a broken record since my head is a little thick and it takes me a while to soak things that I should have gotten weeks or months ago. I value this board and all it brings.