3 year old EA - where do I go from here?

[Matrix5]

Yet, that's a guy that freaks out whenever W tells him I know they have been talking, afraid he'd lose his job and/or his family over this A.

You don't see that as a sign of guilt? Look man I would love to be wrong but where there is smoke there is fire. Way too many things point to that direction.

I have no problem looking him in the eye man to man and asking him. I would be able to tell by his response and body language.

Sign of guilt? Knowing the guy's thinking: "Great, I'm just talking to his wife and I'm about to lose my job over this. I don't need this, it's not worth it" - his exact words. And yet they continue doing it, albeit I have a feeling my wife initiates most of it.

Guilt for different people means different things on different levels. As I mentioned above the guy is paranoid by nature. He has too much to lose by screwing around with the wife of the guy that sits right next to him at work. His career, his own wife and kids, etc.

I’m not saying there’s nothing there. I have no doubt they meet from time to time. Definitely talk on the phone on a fairly regularly basis, and definitely text each other. But I don’t think he’s actually sleeping with her. That would be one step too big for him to take, given what he has to lose, and whose W he’s friends with. He freaked out from the mere mentioning that I know they have been talking, forget about potential sexual relationship.

I already confronted him a couple of years ago. His response was pretty convincing. He didn’t deny chatting with her, but he swore on his kids he didn’t lay a hand on her.

Am I 1,000% sure they are not sleeping together? No. I haven’t delved deep enough to find out for a fact. I keep on bouncing between GAL and snooping around. I feel that I do well for a while GALing and doing 180, but when I confront her about some circumstantial evidence, all she does is spit fire back at me, get defensive, and blames the failure of this marriage on me, for suffocating her and not giving her space. So at this point it all comes down to 1 of 2 options:

1. Continue GAL and 180, and REALLY let it all go, and let it play out however it plays out (though I must be candid: after 3 years I’m starting to lose my patience, even though I’ve only been GALing and 180ing the last few months).
2. Go full Magnum PI on her and uncover whatever there is to uncover

The way I see things, this is how it can all play out:

1. If I go GAL and 180. She may or may not come back.
2. If I go PI mode on her, she definitely not coming back, and may not even want her back, depending on what I uncover.

So far, all I have is some circumstantial stuff and some clear cut stuff (phone logs). But I don’t have enough at the moment to call her out on anything without her calling me BS on the whole thing.

I’m leaning towards continuing with my GAL and 180. I mean honestly, I have a lot to fix about myself regardless, and if doesn’t end up saving this marriage, at least I can use my W as a guinea pig for the next R. I have to be prepared and be a better man for the next R.

Thoughts?