bm, please go back and read your response. There are a lot of contradictions. "I didn't want to upset her." Then "I knew posting it on fb would get back to her and upset her/" Huh?
I didn't want to upset her. - True.
I knew that it would upset her. - Also true.
Posting would upset her. - True
If I post, the outcome (safety of S) will outweigh the cost (anger of W). - True
I get how those appear to contradict, but in my thought process, they didn't. Those aren't mutually exclusive things.
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Oh and go back up and read sandi's post right before your huge update.
I read it yesterday, after everything had already happened.
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I am not going to lie, this is a huge setback. It also makes me question if you were really DBing as well as I thought you were all this time. I am guessing that the DBing you were doing wasn't for yourself, and was to try to manipulate her. I think you even recently said, after she didn't let the D expire, that DBing was having the opposite of the desired effect.
I figured that it would be. But I also believed that some action, even if it wasn't the best one, was better than no action.
Realistically, would it stop them? Probably not.
Would it send a very clear message to W that she needs to THINK before she just randomly takes S around OM? Hopefully.
The DB was for myself. Of course, like some other posters I've read, I tended to fall into the "omg this isn't working halp" trap. It's hard to tell what will work and what won't, what IS working and what isn't, etc. when you're on the inside.
From the outside, it's often more clear. Inside...you've got a LOT of s#1t in your head clouding things up. Factor in something like ADHD and you've got a bomb.
Despite the nuke, I'm still going to DB. Probably harder than ever. I'm going to ride this out until the end, because I don't want to just give up and say "well, I effed up, guess I'm done."
I'm not quitting.
What I hope is (and believe me...I know just how unlikely/impossible this is) that W got the information, said in her mind "wow...what was I thinking?" and starts to make better choices. She gets mad and accuses me of trying to make her feel like a bad mom. She's not a bad mom, but she's a poor judge of character (including her own), and she is impulsive, and she is selfish. She loves S, but she doesn't think about these things before they happen.
I know that's unrealistic to believe. I don't believe that will happen. But I can hope for it all I want.
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On that note, W just texted me. She's wanting to bring S's bed, the kitchen table, and the couch to my place this weekend. The message: "I'd like to bring over some things this weekend to your house if that's ok and you want them. Let me know. S's bed, kitchen table, couch"
I have not responded yet. I have plans this weekend. Sunday afternoon, S will be coming over to my apartment. She is probably wanting to do that sooner than that time, but I will be in and out of the house GAL this weekend, and it's going to be very inconvenient to change my schedule around to make way for her.
In fact, I know I don't have to change any plans for her. She left.
Not only that, but I'm not sure who she's going to try to get help from moving that stuff upstairs. There are certain people that I wouldn't let into my apartment for any reason at all.
Anyway, going to try really hard to do better at this. It may not work, and I'd like some advice on proceeding and dealing with this furniture thing.
