Now, when he says the thing about the things ive changed hurt his feelings, he has said this to me before. He says it upsets him that it took him being half way out the door before I would change certain things about myself. So I am assuming that is what he means by that comment.
Very typical of a WAS. They all say things like this. Usually it is worded more like "Why did it take my wanting a D for you to change? The changes are too late."
This is why you need to be consistent. And over time the WAS begins to trust that the changes are real and lasting.
On the hat, yeah you probably should have ignored it. Likely he wore BECAUSE he knew you would react. This is where 180s come in. 180ing means you ignore the hat. Look, others here deal with disrespect way worse than a bar hat. Plus, maybe he was wearing a shirt you didn't even know she gave him. See? But the overall point is he wore it knowing it would bug you. The fact it did gives him that old "yep, still have her hooked" feeling that is counter to what you want him to feel. You want him to feel you are moving on.
And I will repeat, you are better off NOT responding to his texts unless there is a direct question. Again, when he texts 2 minutes after leaving, and you respond, he gets that same old "still got her" feeling.
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e usually feels remorse for a bit and then things go right back to how they were and he reverts right back to this lifestyle hes been living. What to do? How to act? suggestions?
This is exactly what I am talking about. His sadness. His "this s*cks" texts. Are all to try to get back to what he wants. He wants his cake and eat it too. You took the cake away. He is trying to manipulate you to get it back. Quite being so available. Quit responding to every text. Quit reacting to hats. Stick to your guns with not letting him move back. Keep DBing!
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
