3 year old EA - where do I go from here?

[Matrix5]

Thank you Cadet. I have read the DR book twice. and have been doing a 180/GAL for over a year now. Just not sure where to go with her, given that her sideshow is still live and kicking. Let it go and hope it either dies or just a platonic, friendly relationship (been 3 years now), or go full bore and dig stuff up to validate?

After 3 years, I would like to believe that either would have blown up in my face by now (confession or me finding something really incriminating), or it would have died. Neither has happened, which makes me believe (or at least that what I'd like to believe) that it's just an innocent friendship with some dirty humor mixed in, which I'm totally misinterpreting.

Then there is the lack of closeness. No sex and touch in 17 months is taking a mental toll on me. I'd love to know if she's not interested because she feels disconnected from me, or because she's getting her needs met somewhere else....