paul, please do not confuse detachment with "going dark". It is a common mistake. And there is nothing wrong with alone time! That is what GAL is all about.

You see, LBSs often fall into this trap of "I was an absent spouse prior to BD, so I can't GAL and detach". This is patently untrue.

First, there is a difference between being absent and GAL/detachment. When you are absent you are emotionally unavailable even when you are there physically. GAL and Detachment means that when you are around physically you are present, upbeat, pleased etc.

Second, after BD the last thing the WAS wants is to be smothered! This is the mistake that almost all LBSs make. "I was absent before BD, it hurt my spouse. WHen they dropped the bomb I realized I had to be around 24/7!" But here is the problem, after BD the last thing the WAS wants is to be around you! That i what giving them time and space is about.

Make sure you understand GAL and detachment and 180ing. Don't get tripped up by misunderstanding what they realy are.

M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018