Clean Slate Pt. 2 (Advice on my Scenario Pt. 24)

[OrangeK]

Nerves really building up as Tuesday approaches. Infuriating to think of how easily exw threw it all away, and that this divorce is just ok. I have a hard time beliving she hasnt had guilt regret and second thoughts in the dark hours, but i know it would only regret of the loss of image, and that her plans didnt work out how she wanted. Im just built up with anger and disgust as D day approaches. Been flooded with a lot of "happy memories" lately that simply turn rotten in mouth as a look back and see the lies and manipulation interwoven with the "love" over the years. I occasionally come across a memory i believe to have been genuine for both of us. Those hurt. I hope they hurt her when she thinks of it too.

Well. Here we are Hun. The divorce you wanted. Its here in all its glory. All your friends hate you. All my family hates you. Your son is angry and confused. You lost your home and gained a room in an old house with a family you barely know. Youve alienated your own family. Destroyed your car and noth our reputations. Made an embarrassing sham out of our marriage, our family and our lives. All because you lack the emotional security to own your own immaturity and inability to truly love.
It saddens me on a level I cannot find word for to know that the woman of my dreams never existed, but more so to know that some piece of the woman I loved is deep down inside somewhere crying in pain. crying out in the dark of the night knowing that every time this happens it's your fault, and you can't help but do it again and again and that you're going to live your life like this forever. That makes me so sad and I'm so sorry for you. I hope you find peace someday. Goodbye