@Steve85 , Thank you for reaching out.. I have felt so alone in this craziness and making mistake after mistake .
I am committed to doing all I can to turn this situation around and restore my marriage . I feel my H is going through a lot of things and I understand after reading the books that I have not helped in my reactions..i know I am not responsible for his relationship with OW, that was his free will and his choice... but I have not handled things well from my end..
I have not heard from him in 2 weeks but I am determined to stay far back and not initiate any communication.. I will let him contact me when he is ready.. I have to go about this in a totally different way now as nothing I have done has worked and only made things worse..at this point I feel he has erased me and is simply living with OW openly and publicly as if I do not exist .. and what blows my mind is that he has not filed for divorce in all this time..
I am working on myself.. realizing the part I played in our marriage, taking ownership for my part.. ( I was controlling ) I am getting out more often to do things, meeting new people, attending church, hired a personal trainer and going to the gym regularly …
I am overcome at times with the feeling that i have simply pushed him so far away , that there is no chance of him coming home..
