1 year in, and still surviving

[black8]

OneArt, Thank you for taking the time to provide such great feedback and guidance.

If this is MLC, as opposed to a WAW, the timelines are very different. Please confirm this yourself by reading Michelle's book and sandi's wisdom, but I think with a WAW there is a short window of time in which they potentially come back (I think the common wisdom with a WAH is that it is a longer period). Sometimes they see the changes and come back. But, often, once the WAW makes up her mind. She is gone.

I have read both. I am not sure what my wife is. I think she is more MLC than WAW; is it one or the other or can it be a combination of both? My wife separated from me for 3 months while pregnant with #2 and then 6 months after birth, BD again. She once took meds for PPD but now (I think) just medicates with smoking. So this has been a roller coaster since 2016. It pains me to see her this way.

Why do they come back? They haven't found anything better and they are tired of looking or afraid the LBS will move on.

I agree. I think when she sees the "payout" financially of the divorce, she will have doubt. She may even end up paying me when things are split!

How can you show her that you have moved on? Move on. She will only believe it when it is genuine. It is hard to fake indifference (at least for me). Now that I've reached indifference, I'm pretty sure mine gets that I am there.

Could not agree more. Did yours tell you or show he knew you got to indifference? The ways you suggest are PHENOMENAL! You know my wife well. She is doing 18 and definitely 17. She encourages me to stay at her siblings house when not nesting - keeps asking if I am getting my own place. I think I am doing most of these except for 1, 2, 16, and 20, so work to do on my part.