Lane. Thank you! I saw your response too late oops. He texted me that leaving the baby s*cks. I sat and stared at the phone wondering how I could validate him on that. Before I could figure it out he texted me again and said “I’m glad you don’t have to know how it feels”
So I responded “I can’t imagine, I’m sure it’s not easy” and he responded “it tears me up every time”
Here’s where I may have messed up. But I was trying to come off as strong. I said to him that I’m sorry he’s sad and that one day we will have coparenting all figured out and that him and I will figure out how to do it right.
He responded ya and asked if he could come by in the morning to see the baby. (Odd request, that’s a first) I said yes and can we nail down a time. So he asked if 6:30 works and I said “perfect.” Which I believe was one of Steve’s favorite responses he mentioned.
I hope none of that was too bad. I’m sick of being the sad one. I’m trying to come off as strong, confident and assertive. I hope I’ve accomplished that.
kech, remember:
Do not respond to informational texts/messages. "leaving her stinks" is informational.......
If he asks a direct question, answer in as few words as possible. Yes or no questions should get a yes or no only.
I know you are going on instincts. "But won't it upset him if I ignore his texts?" Reading them is not ignore them. If he ever says "did you see my text on how it stinks to leave her?" You say "yes".
Also, this too falls into the "believe nothing he says category". If something tore me up every time I WOULD NOT KEEP DOING IT! And I would do whatever was required of me so I didn't have to get tore up! IE, give up OW, recommit to the MR, etc.
Likely he is saying that to tug on your heard strings. And to be frank with you it appears to work. Which means you need to keep working on detachment.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
