Wife is not who I married...Pls Help Pt5

[LoneWlf]

update-
S gets home from school late because of band practice. I get dinner prepared for us as he goes and walks the dog. During dinner we talked about his day at school and I inform him that W is coming to help clean up the basement. I ask him if he would like to help because some of the stuff if his old toys that we need to go thru. He said - no I'm good - I will go thru my stuff with you. After dinner he helps clean up I go upstairs to get ready for W and then he proceeds to move chairs around his computer desk. From this he uses a thick piece of masking tape to create a barrier. I come downstairs to see this set up and on the tape he writes "Do not cross". I ask him to help me understand what he is doing? He says 'I don't want to talk to mom". I calmly explain to him that there is a more mature way to handle this. He says this is how I choose. Not wanting to further upset him - I tell him- I'm here to support you and walk away to avoid anymore friction.

W rings the bell shortly after that. She is dressed in a t-shirt with holes and some old ragged shorts. I'm saying to myself what did I see in her?- she looks like crap.I let her in my dog stays back my S is at his cpu. She walks towards him reads the tape and turns to me and says ok guess its time to go in the basement and clean. I feel so much pity for my W but do not want to jeopardize my R with S. My thoughts are actively listen, validate and be the alpha male of action. We went thru a bunch of boxes got 1 filing cabinet sorted. In the process W is asking about the job search. Asking about S and his school work and then starts to ask about my health. All my answers were brief positive and to the point. She starts to talk about how busy her work is and I validate. She then says this is all that my car will hold. I said ok and then made myself scarce as she starts to bring her boxes up. As she is leaving she says-S I'm leaving turns to me and says- have a good weekend - I said- u too ok bye.

No R talks- very little validating. It seems to be heading towards D. At this point I'm not sure what I want except to be the best dad I can be. Forward and positive!