My kids have been back from their holiday away with my ILs for two days now and we have settled back into our routine. D12 seems a lot more chilled out then before she left which is a great. I think the being a 12 year old girl, starting high school and her father moving out has really taken its toll on her and being away with my ILs has meant she doesn't have to worry about school, about her parents, or the fact that she is growing up. She could just be a kid again, albeit, a kid who is turning into a teenager. Plus, my IL's spoil her rotten.
I caught up with a girlfriend for lunch today. She commented on how well I looked. I met her at the same time I met H all those years ago. We all worked together so she has known both of us for the entire length of our relationship. As friendships do, even good ones, over the years, we'd cut back on seeing each other to maybe twice a year. Since BD, she's really been there for me, so the meet ups have increased to maybe once a month . Not a lot, but she works full time too and has three children of her own. Anyway, she commented on how much more relaxed I looked and said that I was starting to look more like the real me again. Small steps, but the validation is good. She also mentioned this is the first time since BD that we've managed to get through lunch without me crying. Wahoo, nearly a normal person who can sit through a meal without breaking into tears
I started painting again last night. A life long hobby that gets picked up every now and again (normally when I need to stop thinking) and then dropped. I haven't really done anything since BD because even painting wasn't stopping my thoughts from going round in circles. Now that I have better control over my emotions, I thought I'd start again. Noting major, a small landscape, but it has turned out OK. Not OK enough to show to anyone aside from family and friends, but it isn't bad. It is a fairly positive pic as well which is a change from the dark stuff I did after BD.
I haven't heard/seen from H since he dropped the kids off two days ago. This is not unusual. He normally rings in the evening on the house phone and D12 always picks up. He only really asks for me if there is something logistical that needs discussing, and to be fair, I only really ask to speak to him if I have something logistical I need to discuss with him. That I am calm with this is a big step forward from when he first moved out. Back then I use to get upset that he didn't want to speak to me. I'd never say anything to the girls, but it definitely use to get to me. Now, I'm just like, "oh well".
It all seems so very mature now - but it still hurts every now and then. It hurts now as I type this.
. Not a lot, but she works full time too and has three children of her own. Anyway, she commented on how much more relaxed I looked and said that I was starting to look more like the real me again. Small steps, but the validation is good. She also mentioned this is the first time since BD that we've managed to get through lunch without me crying. Wahoo, nearly a normal person who can sit through a meal without breaking into tears 
