Husband aged, trying 180 (4)

[LANE777]

Kech. I know exactly how you feel when you say you are afraid to say anything. You're afraid of pushing them further away. I think its the same for you as me. Silence can speak louder than words and it doesn't get you in as much trouble.
Since you just started the DB. I think you just get some time under your belt. He needs to go have his new found freedoms and experience the so called wonderful life of being in a bar. Those bar girls just bounce around from guy to guy without a thought. You said he came home from out of town all down and out. That just goes to show he is not cut out for that lifestyle. He is trying so hard to fit in, but give it time. So, just so you know. I thought my sitch would be over by now and life would be back to normal...lol. It is a marathon. It will take way longer than you think. And so don't get discouraged. I know you want to save your M. The only way is for you to change. He already knows what he would be coming back to. So for now, don't talk...take action on yourself. You said yourself talking would push him..so don't talk anymore about anything about your M or R. Keep your answers short and don't act all sweet all the time. Once he realizes he's losing you he will start to wonder whats been going on. Right now, he knows where you are and knows your not going anywhere. Its such a stupid game to play, but it is what it is. Set that dude free so you can get your confidence back. Go out with friends and talk to people. You don't need to go chase other men. Just get out and breath. Don't wait another second for him to call or decide to come see D whenever he wants. Dont keep her from him but set a schedule that works for both of you. Remember, the sooner you start making changes for you the sooner you will see changes in your whole sitch. Stay silent for as long as you can. He will start to wonder. Stay strong and make yourself look good for you, not him. Trust me, he will notice. Hes not cut out for bar life..that life gets old fast. But dont let him back easy...or he will do it again. Make him work for it. But for now...work on yourself!!!