Thanks all. I am going to heed the advice. Go back to DB and have gotten back in IC. I will reread the books and posts here. I know it in my mind but have to have the balls to do it and stay strong, consistently. Pretty disappointed in the fact that she put herself out there a bit with expressing feelings for me, saying shes attracted etc... after limited to no contact for a while and I screwed it up by jumping all over it. Rather than just putting it in my pocket and continuing as was working. This is a repetitive theme and shows I have more work to do on myself.
Very good thoughts there! Don't beat yourself up too bad, DB'ing is all about growth. Do what works and stop doing what doesn't work. You know now what doesn't work so learn from it and keep moving forward.
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I have not reached out to W at all the last 2 days. Except about D4. She thanked me for the space and said she needed it.
See she STILL thinks you're doing things as tricks to get her back. You're on the right track now but you've got to keep doing it for YOU and eventually she will realize she may be losing you. Then she will start pursuing, and you STAY THE COURSE. Let her pursue! Let her stomp her feet and pout and bat her eyelashes and make sexy comments or whatever. YOU just keep doing YOU. Right? Be the alpha male. By the way I hope you didn't reply to her comment thanking you for the space. No response warranted or required. Keep it up and if she asks you why you are doing it or why you haven't stopped doing it then tell her YOU need space to think things over.
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One thing- she knows I have been dating. I am going to pick up D4's stuff before school ends today. I was thinking of asking how she's doing and just telling her I'm pulling back from dating. Or just say nothing and let her think Im out there with women... Thoughts?
My thoughts are that the dating is hurting you and your GF and you should end it for now until you can find your compass. BUT, it's not W's business! Don't say anything to her. If she asks you about it then tell her "I'm not currently seeing anyone" and leave it at that.
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It gives me a sigh of relief or ray of light to see someone who got back together. Seems like a dream or fantasy.
LITB's sitch is inspiring and very informational. He posted a lot about what was going on and it's a great read. If you haven't read it all please do, a lot of vets that don't post much (or at all) anymore were active in his threads back around 2012 and there are some awesome quotes. Also pay special attention to what happened with his GF, he had some major regrets over breaking her heart. That said, the fact that he had a GF may have been instrumental in his W's 180. It seems to be the trigger that made her realize she had lost him. Also don't forget Steve, I think he will tell you he had the same thoughts as you early on about there being no chance of recon. And look at where they are now! Same with TXHubby. His sitch is a great one to read because the turnaround was about as dramatic as it gets.
