reading old threads you can find so many posts that describe where you are now:
"I had placed all my trust in my wife, and while I recognized she was only human, and I accepted her "faults" in my heart - they were not really faults at all in my mind, just part of who she was, just part of the package that was her - anyway while I accepted that she was human and also that I myself was human and had faults, I held our relationship up high. I believed in love, in our relationship, in commitment. I believed in all those things and knew in my heart that those good things were what life was worth living for, those things were true and constant and would always be with me. Those things would make the good times better - vacations, cooking in the kitchen, ballgames with the kids - and they'd make the tough times which were sure to come, bearable - a car accident, an untimely death in the family, disease, the loss of a business, one of our kids getting pregnant, or whatever life was going to throw at us. I knew, deep down knew, that we'd be together, our commitment was unshakable.
But then the betrayal, and the realization that our relationship was in crisis, and ... oh, that was tough."
Thing is we never had a "known" tough time until BD and none of the good stuff up til then meant a thing to her towards trying to save us.
