L - My XW flat out told me one night in the kitchen that she was selfish, knew she was being selfish, but didn't give a [censored]. Told me the kids would be fine as millions of kids each year go through divorce and then proceeded to rattle off everyone that we knew including my parents and hers that had gone through it. She then looked at me and said "Your parents got D'd and look how you turned out"
1.5 years later she has BF that she spends almost every night with screwing his brains out. He is 5'6, I am 6'2. I make great money, workout every morning, take care of my [censored], am involved with my children, etc. etc. but yet she choose some mini me dude that is studying to be a nurse at 47 years old. When she first told me about him she said she had a BF then the next words out of her mouth where that he is only 5'6. I just laughed.
You can't make this stuff up dude, none of it makes sense and it never will. It [censored] balls no doubt about it but you will ok in the end. As you get stronger you will look at your W and laugh your ass off at what a dumb ass she is. You can't see it now but you will in time. I can tell you that over time you will gain clarity and your sitch will become crystal.
For the first 3 months I cried every morning and every night.......as Vaps said my work suffered and I would cry at my desk in the middle of the day for no reason. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep and no matter what I did all of my thoughts were dominated by her. I remember crying while I was mowing the yard, I remember not being able to play basketball because I couldn't focus on running up the court. I remember not wanting to visit my parents out of town because all I wanted to do was be alone and not be bothered.
What your feeling is normal but it does get better. You have to leave her alone and let her go.
