Steve...as stander provided in another thread I'm reading:
Another Stander: "I didn't hit bottom until well after BD, and ironically I thought I was handling everything just fine right up until it happened. But then I fell into a black pit the likes of which I had never experienced before, it was awful."
Being with my D at her first day of pre-school was pure JOY. We talk about our own chapters of life, seeing your child begin a new one is straight love to the soul...even though there are also tears for the baby/toddler they no longer are. Without her mom there though...
On the face of it, our sep agreement is basically easy. Acceptance of it for me, however, is like another step towards the gas chamber. Simply don't want this chapter to end especially this way. Folks talk about chapters, I've tried twice to write a forever chapter of love, twice I will have failed and best I can say right now is...I do not want to write any more chapters. All the memories, love, hopes, dreams...shattered again. I know I will be great for my D, but the rest of me to new relationships/women...just shutting it down. Marriage does not last and best I know this marriage I wanted SO MUCH, I failed...she said herself you were a great father, provider but I want and need so much more...guess it's for the best I let her go so she can find that.
The only thing I can say for fact is that I will continue to try to understand how I failed her and do my best to make myself the best man I can be for my D.
